My name is Maurice Williams. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. I am a screenplay writer who also spends his time pretending to be a cowboy astronaut astrophysicist. Oh and sometimes a train conductor. I don’t take things seriously and neither should you. This is a safe place I have created for dumb thoughts, random gibberish and motivational shit. Sometimes you need a break to talk about dumb shit and sometimes you need someone to tell you to get your shit together. So…can we talk for a bit?

July 4th, 2023

Okay, so boom…

What do you like to do for fun? That’s a pretty simple question. I enjoy watching movies and shit. Nothing special. I use to be outside a lot, but then I just got use to being at home. Got everything I need, ya know? Did you know the bathroom is the best place to dance? There’s this nice lake somewhere far as hell. I go there often with the homies. Felt great being outside. I really needed that. There are so many rocks outside. Holy shit. Anyways…my frustration is that doing fun shit isn’t putting money in my pockets. That’s work. Work is not fun. When fun becomes work…rocks, rocks, rocks. At what point does a rock become a boulder? Obviously, we know what a fucking mountain is. Wait…hold on. Is a boulder just a big rock? Okay, but like I mean the size. That doesn’t matter. What does matter is you. You look great, man. I don’t mean to be upfront, but does everyone else in here know you gracefully walked in here looking so pretty. Stop it. You’re distracting me. Don’t be out here liking shit just because the next person likes it too. I could have said that in a nicer tone. I’m sorry. I want to be proud of you, but it’s hard. But like seriously, what do you like to do for fun? What do you listen to? Where do you like to shop at? Simple questions. But nigga don’t lie to me. You like weird shit? I like that weird shit too. I like to dance in my house to jazz music. Ask my neighbors. I’ll blast that shit like it just dropped. Been listening to a lot of Bossa Nova Jazz. There’s this Star Wars album you really gotta listen to. Anyways…what are we talking about? Ah, yes. Rocks. Is there a size metric for rocks? I really need to know or else we’re gonna be here all night. You’re not gonna fucking believe this shit, dude. There’s a fucking size metric for rocks. Okay, okay okay. “A boulder is defined as any rock larger than 16” in diameter.” - Some Nigga. Well, we learned something new. I encourage everyone to do something new. Do something weird. Do something out of the ordinary. Part your hair to the left instead of the right. Switch it up every now and then. What the fuck was that one Drake verse? "I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” No one is keeping score. Like for real. Think about it. We really in this bitch. None of it matters or all of it does. I’m the greatest astrophysicist of our generation. Is it true? I would hope so. I’m sure you’re like, “Why is this nigga tryna tell me what to do?” I’m not your mom so you don’t gotta listen to me. I just want better for everyone including myself. And the rocks too. I hope I ended the boulder and rock discrimination. I hope you’re out there doing what you love. I hope you get paid for it. When work becomes fun again…call me. Yeehaw.

July 9th, 2023

Jazz Music & Peach Iced Tea

The magic man has returned. In order to become a magic man, you need to learn how to get shit done. Us magic men? Oh, we make shit work. Whatever the task is. No matter the cost. How much can you roll with an 8th? That tells me a lot about your work ethic. Don’t touch my animal cookies. These aren’t for you. I don’t like to share. Uber drivers really be thinking they know better than the map. Nigga, take me home and stop playing. I don’t know, man. You gotta stop dressing like that. I am what you call an accessory. I compliment her outfit. She’s the real star. I’m just here for the ride, ya know? Plus one gang. Lenny, don’t eat that. It’s not ripe yet. Wait, don’t eat that either. Here, man. It’s a pop tart. What do you mean you don’t like strawberry? Brown sugar? What are you, 65? Oh, hello. I didn’t know you would be here again. What are you doing to prevent your self-destruction? How are you suppressing your bad habits? I currently got my bad habits handcuffed in my closet. That nigga hasn’t eaten in weeks. I’m trying my hardest to become the person I strive to become. I live too spontaneous to crash. Move Margret. You’re in my damn way. I need to go pick up the food. Yes, the driver is outside. What? A tip? I don’t have cash. Give him a jacket? For what? It’s not even raining and the sun is up! Why would you think he needs one? Okay, let’s hope it fits or I’m going to look ridiculous. Procrastinating is my main opp. He likes to spin the block at the worst time. But it’s okay. I’m always prepared. My mind tends to skip a lot. Forward and backwards. Sorry in advance. Sometimes I move too fast and I forget to live in the present. You ever feel like a time traveler? Like a case of long spaced déjà vu? Where you know what’s gonna happen before it even happens, but you still play the role to see if the outcome is the same? Like what if you were to know it was a déjà vu before the key moment was to play out? Are we truly living out our past lives? Is time really man made or is it something that happens unknowingly? Were we meant to be in that moment? Now what if I were to tell you that almost every day feels like déjà vu? Not reoccurring moments. These are new memories, but I’m certain I’ve done this before. I must conduct further research before reaching a verdict. Sometimes I like to flush before I pee to race the toilet. The little things. I’m at the age where high school is getting kinda fuzzy. I’m only 28. Also we gotta stop glorifying high school. To be honest, my greatest memories from high school so happened to be after school. So I can tell you there wasn’t anything special about that shit. Damn, I’m out of time. I gotta go.

July 9th, 2023

I Fucking Love Apple Sauce

Hello. I woke on ten so we up as fuck right now. It’s hot as fuck in here. I just looked around my room and got pissed. I just want more than what I already got. Of course, I want money, but I like owning shit. The thought of just having stuff. I enjoy buying physical items. Not clothes or jewelry. I like collecting shit. I don’t believe in reselling. Unbox all my shit. I still collect cds and vinyls. I don’t even own a record player. I should change that. I just want more things so I can say, “Oh, I have that at home”. I be buying the box sets to all my favorite shows. Cause Netflix isn’t always going to have them. Gotta be five steps ahead. I got the fucking box set to The Oblongs. None of you niggas can tell me shit. There is so much more out there, man. My house is filled with random grails. I really do this shit for me, ya know? Lil Maurice didn’t have this fun shit when he was growing up. I literally had to go out and buy my own shit. I want that for y’all. I want y’all in a position where you can buy all the shit you couldn’t have back when you were younger. Dawg, I’ve been buying legos, toys and movies. This shit truly brings me joy. Go out and make that inner child bounce off the wall. Also…stop dressing like that. Ladies, turn to your significant other and fix his outfit. It’s distracting. Where was I? Ahhh, yes. I want more than what I already got. I want it all. Fuck settling for less. I strive for an abundance of animal cookies and good food. Ya know how we have the ability to explore space and travel to nearby planets and moons? How come we never travel up? Sorry if that’s confusing. But like if you look at it from a 2D perspective, traveling to our moon or even mars would be traveling left or right. But like what’s above and below? Would we eventually exit out of our galaxy? Would we discover something new? These are the important questions that keep me up at night. Like seriously, what’s an efficient way to tie your shoes? Do you know how many different kinds of knots there are?  Also why do people call it red koolaid? Do you know how many red flavors there are? Can you be fucking specific? You tell me red, imma think tropical punch cause cherry is garbage. You like apple sauce? God damn that shit is like crack. Speaking of crack, can I tell you something super outta pocket? Just hear me out before you swing on me, okay? Okay, from a drug perspective crack is considered a good drug cause it does its main purpose: gets you high. Yeah, it’s bad for you. But like any other drug, it gets the job done. I just thought I’d share. I’m not saying go out and smoke crack. Don’t be fucking stupid. I’m just saying that the meaning of good drugs and bad drugs are blurred simply based on its efficiency. Now that we got that out the way. Let’s talk about the importance behind…oh shit, I’m out of time. I gotta run. I’ll see ya later.

July 23rd, 2023

All Words Are Made-Up Words

Hello. It’s me again. Where did the time go? I thought we were driving to the airport? No amount of money could make me change. Well, maybe a million animal cookies. The sun brings me back to life. True sun seeker. Anyways, I’m a little upset at everyone right now. “Why are you upset, Maurice?” Did you know that the rules to uno come in every box? Stop making up shit. People who make house rules are the ones who suck at playing. It’s just an L. Not a dick, so don’t take it so hard. I got the rules to uno in my notes app cause I take uno very seriously. Come correct or get hit with this draw four. On a more serious note, I’m here today to talk about hands. Have you thanked your hands today? They do so much for you on a daily basis. Clap it up for them. We on a flight to Fiji right now. I got my feet kicked up on the back of some broke nigga’s chair. There is something that’s been on my mind. Our hands. Is everyone born ambidextrous? Like in reality we could write with both, but we just pick the hand that’s more comfortable? Is it genetics? The dominant hand was passed down from our mom or dad? Do we decide our dominant hand before we are born? Or is it based on pure coincidence or the environment we are raised in? Are we born this way or do we have a choice? You think characteristics are that way as well? Are we born this way or does our environment shape and mold us? Could be both. I wonder if in a different reality, are we different from our actual selves or we just make slightly different decisions. Murphys Law states that whatever could happen, would happen. Maybe writing with my left hand is just comfortable for me? Or I could’ve just picked something up with my left hand and then ran with it? Sometimes shit just happens. Not realizing that it could affect us and our surroundings. Make your next move your best move. It could change you for better or for worse. Enough about that. Bananas are special. Add that shit to anything, fucking gas. Where da banana bread at? I love the way you tell me to get my shit together. I don’t wanna be rude, but you’re too close. Three steps back. I wanna talk about all these chickens, but I’m outta time. Don’t forget to breathe. Also stretch before engaging in any physical activity. And call your grandparents. They miss you.

August 1st, 2023

God Has A Terrible Sense Of Humor

Hi. Have you took the time to dance today? I’ve been shaking some ass to some jazz. Go ahead and give me a lil spin. Stunning. Anyways, let me get these outta pocket things out. There’s more to life than lemon pepper chicken. Please do better for yourself. What else? Cake pie. Can you bake a cake in a pie? Or a pie in a cake? These thoughts haunt me. Some of these old niggas need that good ole euthanasia. What the fuck is going on here? Why is it so hard to find a good calzone? Shits crazy. Wolves don’t even howl at the moon. Shit broke my heart. This adulting thing is crushing my soul. My spending habits are too chaotic to be a responsible adult. I love clothes and how you can put shit together. But not on you. Who let you out the house looking like that? Oh boy, here I go being a disappointment again. There’s this thing my dad once told me about burning bridges. He said to never end connections and relationships on a bad note. Cause then you’ll have regrets. But my dad doesn’t know I’m having fun with the shit. I wanna be around people that can put me on. You seen that one Carti video? I’m only around people that care about animal cookies. I’ve been reading different theories about the meaning of life. Hedonism, Stoicism and  Existentialism. “Hedonists believe that pleasure and happiness are intrinsically valuable, and pain and sadness are disvaluable.” Live life to the fullest. Do more of the things that make you happy. You should avoid the things that bring you pain. Obviously. Stoicism is about overcoming the things that are only in your control. Yeah shit happens, but what are you doing to get over them? How you pick yourself up is what will give your life strength. Don’t be pussy. Existentialism is my favorite. The actions and moves you make in life give it meaning. Free will and having the ability to pick and choose how your day will turn out. Really self discovery. Going out into the world and finding yourself. This shit is really interesting to me. Life is really like a game of Jenga. No reaction can happen without an action. If you fall, stack that shit back up. Is it time to goof off yet? Breaking News: Man murders wife because and I quote “She wouldn’t take a pic of my fit”. Back to you, Tom. There’s something in the air. Why didn’t anyone else compliment you today? Let me be the first, second and third. You look good. Give me another twirl. Wow. Stunning. Breathtaking. God took his time making you. Okay, take a seat. You need any parking validation? Don’t even worry about. Yours is free. The rest of you hoes better pay. And just like that, I’m out of time. I wish I could stick around, but the bat signal just came on. The city needs me, shawty.